Empathy vs. Sympathy: Feeling With vs. Feeling For

The Dive

Sympathy is when you notice someone is hurting and feel bad for them—like saying, 'I’m sorry that happened to you.' It shows you care, but keeps you on the outside looking in. Empathy goes deeper. It means trying to feel what the other person is feeling, stepping into their shoes, and saying, 'You’re not alone. I get it.'

Empathy helps people feel seen, heard, and understood. It doesn’t mean you have to fix someone’s problem or even agree with them—it just means you’re there with them. When someone is struggling, your presence and understanding can mean more than any solution.

Dr. Brené Brown says it best: 'Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection.' That’s because sympathy can sometimes feel like pity, while empathy feels like real friendship—where someone meets you where you are emotionally.

There are four key parts to empathy: 1) Taking someone else’s perspective, 2) staying out of judgment, 3) recognizing their feelings, and 4) communicating that recognition. Saying something like, 'That sounds really hard. I’ve felt something like that before,' opens the door to true connection.

Empathy is a choice. It takes courage and vulnerability to connect to difficult emotions in yourself in order to understand them in others. It means slowing down, listening closely, and choosing to feel instead of fix.

Sometimes, we mix up sympathy with empathy by saying things like, 'It could be worse' or 'At least…' But those phrases don’t help. What helps is showing you’re there with someone—not above them, not apart from them, but beside them.

Empathy, sympathy, and compassion are all ways of responding to others’ emotions—but empathy is what truly builds bridges. When we practice empathy, we build stronger relationships, become better teammates, and make others feel less alone in the world.

Why It Matters

Understanding the difference between empathy and sympathy helps us grow into emotionally intelligent, compassionate people. When we respond with empathy instead of judgment or pity, we create real human connection. And in a world that often feels rushed or distant, connection is one of the most powerful things we can offer each other.