Understanding Triggers: What Pushes Our Buttons and Why

The Dive

A trigger is anything — like a sound, smell, memory, or situation — that causes a strong emotional reaction. Triggers can make us feel angry, sad, anxious, or overwhelmed without warning.

Triggers often come from past experiences or sensitive emotional spots. For example, someone who was teased about their height might feel upset if someone makes a joke about it, even years later.

When we’re triggered, our brain’s alarm system (the amygdala) takes over and sends our body into fight, flight, or freeze mode. That’s why our reaction can feel really big or out of proportion.

To handle triggers in a healthy way, we need to pause and switch on our thinking brain—the prefrontal cortex. This helps us respond calmly instead of just reacting.

Simple strategies like taking deep breaths, counting to ten, or stepping away from the situation can help calm the brain and body after a trigger. Writing down what upset you or talking to a trusted adult can also help.

Everyone’s triggers are different, and knowing your own is part of growing emotionally. Telling friends what bothers you helps them avoid pushing your buttons and shows you're setting healthy boundaries.

Triggers can be external (like loud noises or smells) or internal (like feeling ignored or rejected). Understanding both helps us prepare for and manage tricky emotional moments.

Being curious and empathetic about what triggers others makes us better friends and community members. Instead of judging someone’s reaction, we can listen, support, and help them feel safe.

Why It Matters

Knowing what triggers us—and how to handle those moments—builds emotional intelligence. It helps us take control of our reactions instead of letting our feelings control us. When we understand our own buttons and respect others’, we create safer, kinder spaces for everyone to grow and thrive.